Pieces of Me Read online

  I screamed, ‘That’s enough, Bear.’

  Allister was making gagging, choking sounds, his hands flailing around him, then gripping onto Bears forearms, trying to pull them away. But Bear still held tight, his breaths harsh, his arm shaking from the strain.

  ‘Let go! Bear, let go. You’ll kill him.’

  Bear released him and staggered back two paces, shaking his head as he watched Allister fall to the road on his knees.

  ‘Get up!’ yelled Bear, his voice echoing. ‘Get up!’

  ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Hannah,’ Allister said, looking up at me with wet, pleading eyes. ‘I didn’t mean to do that. I’ll change.’

  ‘Don’t listen to his bullshit, Hannah,’ said Bear, breaths harsh.

  ‘I promise this time I’ll go and get help. I promise I’ll change. I love you. Can’t you see that?’

  I touched a hand to my throat, still feeling the pain of Allister’s steely grip then back down at the weak display he was putting on. How many times he had apologised to me in the past. Promised he’d change. Promised he’d go and get help. But he never did. Ever. This type of performance would’ve invoked sympathy in the past, but that was because I thought I didn’t have a choice but to believe him. I did have a choice now, and I could see right through him. I would never fall for this again.

  ‘Get up off your knees and leave. It’s over.’ My voice was firm, despite the slight tremble.

  Allister got to his knees, his gaze darting from me to Bear. He took a step towards me, shaking his head. He reached for my arm, but Bear moved in to intercede. ‘She said to leave.’

  Hands up again in the surrender position, shoulders hunching, he said, ‘Fine. Fine. I’m going. Just know what you’re getting into here. She’s …’

  ‘Leave!’ I screamed.

  Allister opened the car door and went to say something before he hopped inside, but I cut him off again. ‘It’s over. No more chances.’

  Allister narrowed his eyes and shook his head, but he climbed into his car and shut the door. I backed away as he started the engine and sped off, his tyres screeching on the bitumen.

  My throat was so tight. My breathing shallow. Trembling all over, I looked up the road until I could no longer see his tail-lights. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop them coming.

  A hand pressed to my back. My muscles softened to feel Bear there, as though my body was sighing in gratitude. I didn’t flinch. I didn’t jump away. I craved kindness and comfort.

  ‘You okay?’

  I spun to face him and he pulled me into an embrace. I’d never had this before—support, strength. It felt … good. ‘I’ll be fine.’

  ‘You think it worked?’ he asked.

  I sighed against his hard, warm chest. ‘I hope so. I’m not sure I could do that again.’

  A patrol car pulled in around the corner. It stopped where we stood. The window was rolled down. It wasn’t Serg but a younger officer.

  ‘Everything okay here?’

  I wiped my eyes. ‘Everything’s fine. He’s gone now.’

  ‘All okay, Bear?’

  ‘Yeah, mate. All’s good.’

  The officer nodded. ‘I’ll keep doing regular patrols, just in case he decides to show himself again.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I said and he drove away.

  ‘Come on,’ Bear said. ‘Let’s go back inside.’

  Frowning, I peered up at him, then took a few paces backwards remembering his phone call earlier. ‘You probably want to get back to your girlfriend … I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask if you were … but of course you would be.’

  His forehead furrowed. ‘What are you talking about? I don’t have a girlfriend.’

  ‘I thought I overhead … your phone call …’

  His expression lightened and he smiled. ‘That was my sister. Rebecca. She was wondering if I was coming home for dinner.’

  ‘You still live at home with your family?’

  He chuckled. ‘Um. No. My sister lives with me. But, I’ll go if you want me to. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable—’

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘Don’t go yet.’

  He smiled and slung an arm over my shoulder and we headed back to the house. ‘Have you got a microwave, Hannah?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Good. I’d hate for that unfinished spag bol to go to waste.’

  Chapter 18

  Bear

  Allister didn’t come back. I left Hannah’s house quite late. It was difficult to leave her alone, but I felt it inappropriate to stay the night, and knew she wouldn’t have agreed to it anyway. Too much. Too soon.

  I called Serg on the way home. He had made a few inquiries at nearby hotels. Allister was staying at the Ocean Palms. He’d indicated to staff that he’d be checking out at six the next morning. It sat uneasy with me that he was staying overnight.

  The house was silent when I arrived home. Most of the lights were off. I went to Rebecca’s room, creaked open her bedroom door and poked my head in. I smiled to myself, grateful that for many years now, we’d not had our lives hurled into a state of chaos and hurt. Her room was doused in black and she was sound asleep on her bed. No matter how old she was getting, I always loved to see her peaceful face as she slept.

  My guts churned as I thought of Hannah, witnessing the fear in her eyes, hearing that tremble in her voice. I hoped from now on she’d have the rest of her life without the terror an abusive partner could bring.

  I shut the door and headed up to my room. I showered and jumped into bed, but my cells were firing and my mind was wide awake. I’d been trying to avoid thinking about what had happened tonight: how close I got to squeezing all the life out of Allister. Seeing that murderous glare of Allister’s, his hands clawing at Hannah’s neck, the rage I had felt was all encompassing, overwhelming almost. If not for Hannah’s voice cutting through the red haze, I’m not sure how far I would have gone. And that terrified me.

  I’d tried to lighten the mood after the incident. To move on. But always in the back of my mind was: how did Hannah see me now?

  I grabbed my mobile off my bedside table and texted her.

  Me: How are you?

  Hannah: Ok. In bed, trying to fall asleep.

  Me: Me too. Feeling a bit wired.

  Hannah: I know what you mean.

  Me: If you need me at all. Call me. I’m two minutes away.

  Hannah: Ok. Thanks.

  Me: No matter what time.

  I waited for the next message to chime through, but it didn’t. The phone rang instead. I sat up, feet to the floor, ready to race over to her, and answered it.

  ‘Everything okay?’

  The voice that came down the line was calm and I blew out a long sigh of relief. ‘As good as it can be under the circumstances.’

  I leant back against my pillows again, one arm behind my head. ‘He’ll be out of here tomorrow and you can get on with making Mercy Island your home.’

  ‘Yeah. Serg told me.’ Her syllables were long and her voice grainy; she sounded exhausted.

  ‘You did good tonight, Hannah. Incredibly courageous.’

  ‘I’ve done all I can. Now I just have to wait and see how he responds.’

  ‘I think he got the message. If his travel plans are any indication.’

  ‘Yeah. Fingers crossed.’

  My chest tightened. I wished I was there with my arms wrapped around her, not trying to comfort her through a mobile phone. ‘You don’t need me to come over?’

  There was silence for a heartbeat. ‘No. I’m okay. I … can you stay on the line until I fall asleep?’ she asked with a fragile voice.

  I blinked. ‘Of course. I’ll stay right here. Put me on speaker and close your eyes.’

  A moment passed. ‘Goodnight, Bear,’ she whispered.

  ‘Goodnight.’

  I pressed my mobile onto speaker and rested it on the pillow beside me. I laid there, staring at the ceiling, listening to her soft breathing.

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nbsp; ‘Bear?’ came a whisper.

  ‘I’m still here,’ I said.

  ‘Thank you.’ Her words were thick with weariness.

  I flicked off my lamp and closed my eyes too. Tried not to think about anything but Hannah’s face. That was a nice thought to have as I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 19

  Hannah

  I should have felt lethargic and weak when I woke. But I didn’t. I was lighter. When I took a deep breath it reached even the deepest recesses of my lungs. I hadn’t been able to take a full breath for many years.

  The thought of ever seeing Allister again and telling him why I left him the way I did, had my nerves in tatters from the second I drove away from Melbourne. In my mind, I had conjured him up to be this enormous, oppressive figure and me a tiny ant, not big enough to stand nose to nose with him and plead my case.

  But in the end, it wasn’t that way. I shuddered and touched my hand to my throat. Thanks to Bear’s help, it wasn’t that way.

  All the nights spent with sick dread in my belly was wasted. Yes, Allister was dangerous. Yes, he was domineering. But he was flesh and bone like me. The biggest demon I had to face last night was my own lack of self-worth. I needed to recognise that I deserved more than what he gave me. And in doing that, show him he couldn’t feed off my vulnerability anymore.

  I did it. I stood up for myself and demanded he leave me the hell alone. I may not have been able to do it without the support of the police or Bear, but the point was, I did it.

  But the biggest thing I realised last night, was my own strength. Despite shaking and my voice quivering, I got my message across. I stopped avoiding Allister and faced him head on. I made the decision to not only expect more from Allister, and from all people in general, but know that I was worthy of it too.

  My mobile buzzed. I threw my covers off and sat up, my feet touching the cool floor boards. I grabbed the phone from the bedside table and read the message.

  Serg: I confirmed with the hotel that Allister checked out this morning. Airline also confirmed that he boarded his flight to Melbourne. Have a good day. Sergeant Michaels.

  My grin was unstoppable. I forwarded his message to Bear.

  A message came back.

  Bear: Great news!!! ☺ See you at seven. I’m off for a surf.

  What a compassionate and strong man Bear was. For his support since I arrived here, I would be forever grateful. I smiled all the way to my renovated room and peered out at the ocean. The sun was bright and glinting off the water. What a stunning morning.

  Vigour roared in my limbs. Energy illumed my cells. Today marked the beginning of my new life. And what a way to mark the occasion than by shifting back into my room.

  I carried or dragged all my things from the spare room down to my bedroom. I hung clothes in the cupboards and put lingerie and t-shirts into my chest of drawers. Though it was heavy and I was panting and sweating by the time I finished, I carried each piece of my bedframe in too.

  I grabbed my Allen key set and was joining my bed frame to one side of my bedhead when Penny barked and a knock came at the door. I smiled, wiped my sweaty palms on my shorts and jogged to the front door.

  Bear stood in his boots and shorts, tool belt clipped to his waist, his hair wet and smelling of the surf. The sun shone behind him, highlighting sun-bleached strands of his dark brown hair. He was smiling, white teeth and dimples flashing. So damn sexy, I couldn’t breathe.

  ‘Hi,’ I managed, though my voice was airy.

  ‘Hi. How are you?’ I could tell he sensed my mood, it was elevating his own and buzzing between us.

  ‘I’m great. Wonderful.’

  He smiled even wider and my heart stopped beating for a fraction of time.

  ‘I can tell.’

  I stepped to the side, holding the door wider. ‘Come in.’

  He wiped his boots on the mat and stepped inside. I shut the door behind him.

  ‘I’ve been busy this morning,’ I said, leading him through to the room.

  He eyed all my things and nodded. ‘Yes you have. Need some help with that bed there?’

  ‘I’d love some. Thought I’d be able to do it on my own, but it’s just a little awkward. And heavy.’

  ‘No worries. Then what room do you want me to start on?’

  ‘My office. I start work in a week and I’d like that finished first.’

  Bear directed me around, telling me what to hold and where to stand. He let me screw in each bolt and share the weight of any part of the bed that had to be lifted. Me on one end and him on the other, we carried the mattress down the hall and placed it on the erected bed frame.

  I pressed my hands to my hips, puffing, and assessed the finished result. ‘Perfect.’

  He nodded.

  ‘No wonder you’re so well built having to do this every day.’

  He raised an eyebrow. ‘Glad you noticed.’

  I bit down on the inside of my cheek and lowered my gaze. The way he said that, with a sexy lilt, he was definitely flirting. Could I handle that?

  ‘Hard not to,’ I said before I realised it was out of my mouth. Perhaps it was my brilliant mood, my newly sensed freedom, or the fact that he was so damn hot my mouth was dry. I was suddenly aware of my own body. My heavy breasts; my tingling nipples; the pulsing ache at the apex of my thighs. And aware of him. His height, broad shoulders, and strong muscled arms.

  I met his eyes and a look passed between us. A silent, but thunderous acknowledgement of what we were doing to each other in this moment. His chest was rising and falling sharply. As was my own. This felt so good. I hadn’t experienced this for much too long. I didn’t think my body capable. But I was … aroused, craving his big hands all over me.

  I tore my gaze away and took a deep breath. What was I doing? I had just come out of a relationship. A hard, horrible relationship. I had enough baggage to take me on an around-the-world trip five times. I hadn’t been on my own since I was sixteen. I needed space, time, to work out what I wanted. Not fall for the first man I saw. I peered at him again. Yes, even if that man was compassionate, strong, and kind. And yes, even if he looked like a rugged sex god.

  I shuffled a hand through my hair. ‘Um … I should leave you to it then.’ My voice was hollow.

  He nodded slowly, but didn’t say anything.

  ‘I’m going to go do some shopping. I’ll be out for most of the day.’

  Again he nodded.

  ‘Um … so,’ I pointed to the door and I rushed out. I grabbed a towel from the linen cupboard and headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and groaned. My singlet was damp with sweat, a little see through. He would have had a great view of my breasts. I was so busy when he arrived, pre-occupied with my triumph, that I didn’t even remember I hadn’t changed from my night wear. I hadn’t even brushed my hair or teeth. That’s what this man did to me. He muddled my mind. Stole all my good sense. And I was rendered incapable of operating without embarrassing myself. But I wasn’t ready for him. For anyone. Not emotionally anyway.

  However, it seemed there wasn’t much I could do about my body’s desires.

  I showered, dressed and booked an appointment with the hairdressers. I was slotted in later that afternoon, which was perfect. Plenty of time to head over to the mainland and do some shopping. I was going to buy a bikini, a tight, sexy dress to wear to Natalie’s tomorrow night, and new furnishings for the house, starting with some artwork for my bedroom walls and a new doona.

  Before heading out, I summoned my courage, prayed my cheeks wouldn’t flush, and sought Bear out. He was on his back, a drill in his hand, erecting my new desk that was being built into the wall to become a permanent structure in the room.

  The scent of sawdust greeted me and the harsh buzz of the drill as it bit into the timber. Bear lifted his head and looked at me.

  ‘Do you need anything before I leave?’

  He smiled, but shook his head. ‘All good here.�
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  ‘Great. I’ll see you later this afternoon.’

  ‘I’ll be here.’

  Chapter 20

  Bear

  The desk was built and sanded. I had fitted the new timber blinds to the office. Blemishes in the walls were patched and the years of accumulated paint were sanded away and awaiting the first undercoat. But that would have to wait until Monday now.

  I was carting tools back out to my ute when Hannah pulled into the driveway. She stepped out of her car and grinned, her pout a delicious, deep red. The second thing I noticed were her eyes, blue and shining. Then I realised why. She had cut and coloured her hair. Dark chocolate strands now framed her face and she had an eyebrow length fringe. The lower half of her hair was a lighter caramel colour and hung just above her shoulders. My god, she looked irresistible.

  I grinned back. ‘Love the cut.’

  She pressed her cheek to her shoulder bashfully, trying to hide her face. But hell if that didn’t make her look even sexier. How was I ever going to resist this woman? My body had its own agenda here and my mind had no say in what it wanted to do to her.

  I stamped back into the house and grabbed another handful of timber scraps. I threw them into the skip bin, along with the other bits and pieces still lying about. We passed each other, wordless, as she lugged shopping bags inside and I brought out tools and rubbish. I swept up the sawdust from the floor, bagged it, and I was done.

  I spun to make my final trip out to the ute. She was standing in the doorway to the office.

  ‘Hi,’ she said, still with that shy look on her face.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘I got some lovely pieces today for my room.’

  ‘That’s … great.’ Arrgggh. This felt awkward. Why did it feel awkward? Because you want to kiss her mindless.

  ‘So you’re all finished for the day?’

  I nodded.

  ‘You got so much done. It always surprises me how much you can get done in a day.’